Wine Trouble
by MidnightSchemer13
Summary: Could be crack. O13's online! And Marluxia needs help picking out a cocktail for his dinner party that night. Everyone gives him advice and bickers in the chat room, leading to exasperation, frustration, and lots of bottles! Happy 2012 everyone!


Marluxia sighed as he sat down at his dining room table, opening his silver laptop and logging in. Opening the Datascape and launching ChatterBlox, the pink-haired man leaned his face on his hand as he entered the chat room, a faint aroma of salmon reaching his nose from the kitchen.

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><p><em>Assassin_M is now online<em>

* * *

><p>Marluxia's lightly callused and neatly manicured fingers danced across the keyboard as he presented his dilemma to his CRC coworkers on the same System Floor. Most of them were online at the moment, but Marluxia noted a few were absent or idle.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Assassin_M:<strong> I'm baking a salmon with cream cheese and lemon spread for the party tonight. Can anyone suggest a nice white wine for it? So far, I am not satisfied with chardonnay or pinot grigio. The wine has to be reasonably priced, and easy to find.

* * *

><p>Marluxia drummed his fingers softly as he waited for a reply. He glanced in the kitchen's direction, but remained seated in his chair, until after a few moments, his laptop trilled as a colleague replied.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>SadisticLancer:<strong> /I usually use Pinot Noir, not white, for salmon. But since you're using dairy and citrus, I'd say you need to use a white wine with some acidity to balance the cream…/

**Assassin_M:** True, I agree with the Pinot Noir, and will be serving that with the tenderloin, but feel obliged to have a white available.

_SadisticLancer has gone offline_

**SitaristD:** Why?

**Assassin_M:** Our *Superior* wants it available.

**FlamingChakrams:** You're lucky he's not online right now

**Freeshooter002:** Ha! As if. He's online, just busy taking care of… other business and just left his laptop on

**FlamingChakrams:** What kind of business? …Why isn't Saix online?

**Freeshooter002:** He would be a part of 'other business'

**FlamingChakrams:** F#$%.

_FlamingChakrams has gone offline_

**SitaristD:** Why'd Axel go offline?

**Assassin_M:** Never you mind. Can we get back on subject? I still need a wine.

**AceGamblerX:** Riesling, or Alsatian if you want it dry

**Assassin_M:** Luxord, you surprise me: I'd have thought you suggest rum or something ridiculous like that.

**AceGamblerX:** -_- just because I can outdrink jack sparrow does not mean I'm addicted to rum like the scallywag!

_FlamingChakrams is now online_

**FlamingChakrams:** O.o

_SadisticLancer is now online_

**SadisticLancer:** /I disagree. Alsatian is more expensive and our dear florist would not be able to afford it. Riesling will do in a pinch./

**Assassin_M:** Xaldin, my salary is none of your business and well enough indeed for this!

**Vexenator:** There are Alsatian at reasonable prices at almost every store.

**FlamingChakrams:** why the hell is your username 'vexenator'?

**Vexenator:** You addressed me as such once, and suggested that I make it my user-name.

**FlamingChakrams:** I must have been drunk. NEVER let me talk to the old man when I'm drunk, okay Demyx?

**SitarD:** Alright. Wait, we'll not let you get drunk in the first place!

**FlamingChakrams:** ….No. I'm asking the wrong person. NEVER MIND

**CloakedSchemer:** I second the Riesling option. It should go well with Marluxia's recipe, as long as he doesn't burn it.

**Assassin_M:** …Not funny, Zexion.

**SitaristD:** Hey Zex! What's with your username? Totally unoriginal!

**FlamingChakrams:** Yeah, 'Zex'. You have no imagination

**CloakedSchemer:** Au contraire. I do, but why make something ridiculous up? This way everyone knows who I am.

**Freeshooter002:** Unfortunately

**SitaristD:** Hey! I searched the net and found one site that says this: 'a bottle of Torrontes should work: it's floral, spicy, fruity, and acidic: a perfect match'

**SparksandLightningXII:** ooh. a floral wine. now marluxia's totally gonna buy that

**DestinyKeyXIII:** get something bubbly!

**FlamingChakrams:** Get offline, Roxy. Now. Don't recommend anything because the only thing you'll be drinking at Marluxia's is soda or water

**BlackenedMemories:** yeah, 'Roxy'. you're underage!

**DestinyKeyXIII:** What? So're you, Xion!

**X_Superior:** How about BOTH of you get offline, before you get into trouble?

**SparksandLightningXII:** ooh it's boss. how was saix?

**X_Superior:** What do you mean?

**Assassin_M:** NOTHING. She means nothing. Get offline, Larx. You don't need any more trouble to get in.

**Freeshooter002:** Was that even grammatically correct?

**AceGamblerX:** Since when did you care?

**Freeshooter002:** care? As if! Nah, just curious

**SilentHill5:** Or nosy.

**BlackenedMemories:** who're you?

**X_Superior:** Xion, if you don't get offline right this instant, you will be going to work tomorrow, limping, bloody, and bruised

**SparksandLightningXII:** and that wasn't suggestive at **all**, xemnas

**X_Superior:** What do you mean?

**FlamingChakrams:** xD Hahaha… er, nothing. She means nothing. She just took your words the wrong way. As an innuendo.

**X_Superior:** …Number XII, you are in *very* deep trouble.

**CloakedSchemer:** SilentHill5 is Lexaeus. Remember, Axel? You made his account?

**FlamingChakrams:** Oh yeah… but there's no point in saying that NOW. Xion's gone.

**CloakedSchemer:** No, she's still online. She just clicked the hide button, so her status is invisible to us.

**Assassin_M:** What the hell. I leave my computer for ten minutes, and when I get back, there's all this drama. Whatever. So Riesling it is?

**BlueMoon007:** Just pick whatever you think is best. I'm sure we'll all put up with it without dying.

**Assassin_M:** Thank you for your kind words, James Bond.

_Assassin_M has gone offline_

* * *

><p>Marluxia groaned and closed his laptop, turning it off. He now had a lot of shopping to do, and only three hours in which to finish. He stood, checked the food in the kitchen, and prepared to leave; five minutes later, he locked the door and strolled down to his car, driving away, and expecting to return with a much lighter wallet.<p>

* * *

><p>One by one, Marluxia's colleagues and Superior entered his house for their annual New Year's dinner party. Luxord quickly pressed a can of soda each to Roxas and Xion's hands once they arrived, making sure that they would not become intoxicated with the other colourful drinks.<p>

After everyone had arrived (including Naminé, who had been invited as well), Marluxia lead them all to his dining room, now cleared and decorated delicately and simply, as well as with a great assortment of wine bottles and goblets.

"I didn't know who wanted what so I just bought the lot of it…" he said with a shrug. "Y'all owe me for this."

Everyone smiled and laughed (as did Naminé, who giggled nervously), and sat down, thanking Marluxia for the meal once done, and toasting anything and everything after dinner. It was the last night of the old year 2011, and it was a very _tasteful _one indeed.

**A/N: Who else can't help but see the face in Demyx's username?** Sitarist**D: ****This may be my first crack fic, but I dunno~ Yes, it was short. It was weird. It wants love ;)  
>Happy New Year's! <strong>


End file.
